Shaw Baby

Week 29

Tomorrow will officially make me 30 weeks pregnant.  Very hard to believe how far and (generally) fast it has come!  I’m definitely ready… but, when I say that, I’m thinking I’m going to rush to the hospital and they are going to be at the door handing me my baby…. if only that was the case.

Week 30

So… it looks like it has been about 4.5 weeks since my last post…. where to begin….?  Well, within that time, I have battled and conquered the shingles.  Yes, the shingles.  Apparently it is not just an older person’s “disease”.  Anyone that has ever had the chicken pox can have an outbreak of shingles.  While the typical age for this is over 65, if your immune system is suppressed (mine due to pregnancy) or you are especially stressed (I’m always stressed… esp. w/o a job), then you are a prime target for the evil boogers!   And, they ARE evil.  Mine broke out on my chest and then directly behind that spot on my back just inside my shoulder blade.  They do not itch (at least not initially) like Chicken Pox do… instead they are very painful.  I tried to explain it as having a dozen sets of tweezers pulling simultaneously on little baby hairs– but never ceasing.  Of course, there is a slew of pain meds they can give you…. that is IF you aren’t pregnant.  My only vice was two tylenol several times a day– and I had to be careful with that.  I tried to suffer through most of it w/o the tylenol (labor isn’t going to be much easier), but it was difficult.  Luckily, after two full days (and nights— nights were the worst because I couldn’t lay on my back or my belly and sometimes not even my side), they started to get better (they started to itch– but it was an itch you couldn’t really relieve).  Still, I will take itching over pain any day.  The antibiotic must have really kicked its butt (it should have at 5 times a day!).

Beets' room from door

We have also been finishing up the baby’s room.  You may have seen some pictures on Jimmy’s facebook page.  I’ll post some on my Picassa  album, too.  He was too proud to wait to show them until we are completely finished.  We still have lighting to put up, window treatments to install and a few other last details.  But, it definitely looks like it is almost ready for a baby.  It was such a good feeling to have the room CLEAN and baby stuff placed in it.  It is still hard to believe… I keep turning around in circles looking at everything every time I walk into it.  We hope to get a few more hot air balloons and airplanes to add to it.  I just hope he doesn’t outgrow it too soon.  But, if he does, I will save it for the next baby (fingers crossed)– I tried to do a gender neutral scheme/theme, so, I think it will work long term.  I’m hoping we can reuse

Plane will pull a banner with his name on it!

everything we have– including the crib.  That is, if we can get it together again.  It really wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be… but there are a few important details that we will have to tag and remember when we take it apart.  The side rail is supposed to lower and raise… but, well, Mr. Shaw wasn’t very fond of the way it worked/ didn’t work.  So, I may have to grow longer arms or say “bombs away” when I drop the baby into the bed at night.  Sorry, Beets.  Hopefully we can find another solution– with less “grown-up” words involved.

I am now officially visiting my doctor every two weeks.  It is so exciting… not because I miss seeing her lovely face, but because I know the baby will be here soon!  My appointments are also becoming more involved… which I’m not quite as excited about.  At the last appointment, I had to do a glucose screening test (drink this terribly sweet orange drink and then have blood drawn an hour later).  For this test, I didn’t have to fast or avoid anything in particular (or so I thought).  Unfortunately, the fine print on the directions is something you should always try to read… such as avoiding concentrated sweets… including SWEET TEA.  Yes, I realize this should be common sense… but, I really didn’t give it much thought.  I should have been tipped off about my intake of sugar when I drank the extra sugary drink and it didn’t seem as sweet as I expected.  Probably because my tongue was already thoroughly coated in sugar!  It was probably too numb to even tell the difference.  In any case, as you may have guessed, I didn’t pass the first test.  And, as a punishment, I had to do a 3 hour, fasting glucose test.  Let me tell you… THIS IS NOT FUN!  I couldn’t eat after midnight the night before (which wasn’t so bad), but the worst was not being able to drink anything… not even water!!!  As soon as you hear this, your throat gets parched immediately.  In fact, I have cotton mouth just thinking about it right now.  THEN… you have to drink another sweet drink (this one was lemon-lime)… that really tastes like the pure syrup they put into soft drink machines.  Except, this time, the drink was hot… try that on a hollowed-out empty belly… and you may very well purge!  The whole time I was trying to gulp this stuff down, the lady was telling me, “if you throw up, please tell your nurse… you’ll have to come back and do it all again.”  OH!  Fantastic!  Just what I wanted to hear, because, lady, I can’t get enough of this stuff!  Then I had to get my blood drawn 4 times within that 3 hour period.  Luckily, the test came back negative, so, I could breathe a sigh of relief.  So, what’s the lesson, my dear readers?  AVOID all sweets beforehand or suffer the consequences.

*Disclaimer: child birth class details!

Jimmy and I also went through a child birth class.  It was this past Saturday from 9 am to 3:30 pm.  I literally felt like I had been in labor by the time I got home.  I’m sure I won’t be comparing REAL labor to that when I actually go through it… but it was a LONG day.  Jimmy was all too “thrilled” to spend the day doing that.  But, in actuality, his misery is very minimal compared to the backaches, swollen ankles, braxton hicks contractions, sleepless nights and nausea (felt in early pregnancy), that I have experienced along the way.  Lest we not forget that he won’t be the one pushing a watermelon through a lemon when it is all said and done, either.  Still, I have to agree that it was a painful day– even though it was necessary and helpful.  Though, to some degree, ignorance is very blissful.  We watched two child birth videos– something I was not prepared to watch.  These videos were super old… in fact, the babies being born in them are probably in their early 20′s and might even be having babies of their own.  Of course, I realize, the process of having a baby has stayed pretty much the same since, oh, the beginning of time.  However, it was hard to relate to these people when a) they are nearing senior citizen status now, and b) they weren’t… well… the most attractive to look at.  Yeah, I realize that didn’t sound very nice… but, I think that made it more painful to watch.  In addition, one of them had obviously gone through labor before… probably several times before.  She didn’t strike me as having the typical “birth” situation.  The second video was better… but, very disturbing due to the length of time it took for her to deliver the baby (it felt like days).  So, I’m not super excited about this process.  To add injury to insult, the pain medications kind of scare me… (this is where I’d like my “mother” friends to chime in)… the epidural seems debilitating.  A catheter has to be put in (OK… not my idea of fun, but not horrible) since you lose the ability to walk (or feel the need to pee).  Naturally, there is a risk of death (extremely rare) or paralysis (very rare, too), but what petrifies me the most is the risk of a spinal headache (not common, but is less rare) that could- at worst- last weeks.  A spinal headache is worse than a migraine.  Add that to a new baby that needs to nurse and has the tendency to cry… and you might have a very, very bad situation.  So… what to do… I have begun to consider a natural birth due to these reasons.  Don’t get me wrong… I have no desire to be considered a “Super Woman”  (certainly not tree-hugging super woman), but, for fear of worse pain, I may decide to go all the way with this.  I’m not making any definite decisions until I am actually in the situation.  I’m trying to put together a birth plan that will explain my wishes as much as possible, since, according to the Child birth nurse, I will probably suffer from hallucinations and amnesia (that’s a fantastic combination) and may not be able to clearly communicate.  This just gets better and better!  I feel like I’m preparing to take a trip to the Mariana Trench (deepest point of the ocean) and will travel through a small hole to get to other side of the world (I’m sure this is how the baby will feel, too).  It is just a big unknown and I find myself holding my breath already.  I just hope it is a short trip to the other side of happiness!

Well, I suppose that pretty much covers the basics.  I have another baby shower scheduled this weekend which will be exciting!  Jimmy’s sisters are also having a couples’ shower for us next month, so, that should be fun, too!  We both feel very fortunate to be having a baby and be surrounded by so many people that want to help us celebrate!  I’ll leave you with some images of some cute new clothes I have bought for Beets.  Clothing is probably the last thing he needs… he has gotten a lot from my cousin’s hand me downs, but, I can’t resist sometimes.

Until next time!

Yes… it is true; the summer heat and weight of my growing baby boy (ok… my huge “Cinnamon-Toast-Cereal-eating-arse”) has started the “cankles” chapter in my pregnancy.  To add injury to insult, I’m also noticing that my hands are starting to swell.  So, since I can no longer wear my wedding ring, I look like a knocked-up cankle-wearing hussy.  It brings back memories of swimming in the pool at the Y a few weeks ago and the little girl thinking I was a “knocked-up” teenager.  I don’t know whether to be happy that she thought I was a teenager or upset at the naughty suggestion.  Either way… I’m in a whole new world.

Aside from the cankles… all is going well.  The baby is apparently the size of a rutabaga this week.  I’m hoping the size is the only comparison because these things are ugly!  I’m hoping my baby is much cuter than a knotty, dried-out looking piece of root vegetable.  Apparently he is weighing in around 1.5-1.75 pounds and is about 11 inches long (I think that is head to rump, but might be head to toe measurements by now).  However, the doctor and U/S tech think he might be ahead of the game.  He is showing measurements for babies born between October 20-31… at least one-three weeks before my “official” due date.  I asked the doctor if she would be moving my due date up.  “Nah,” she says, “that just means he is a bigger baby for his due date.”  At that moment, thoughts began swirling through my head, and I see a glimpse of me in a horrible hospital gown, red-faced, sweat oozing from my pores like Niagara Falls, all the while I push a 10 pound baby out of… well… you know.  I asked her (more like highly encouraged) her not to make me have a 10 pound baby– especially one that is likely to have a large head and broad shoulders.  I didn’t get quite the affirmative answer I was hoping for, but, she said they would monitor his progress more closely.  We shall see where this leads.

Other physical constraints are beginning to surface and the “Wonder Woman” that I thought I could be is slowly turning into “Wimpy Worm”.  Doing laundry is physically exhausting.  It is not the actual gathering, sorting, stuffing into appliances, the folding or the putting away that is an issue.  Actually, I feel a since of accomplishment when those things are completed.  It is the dreaded two-stories of stairs that provide the biggest obstacles.  Especially with an over-loaded laundry basket in tow.  My mother shakes her head every time I talk about doing the laundry and is convinced she can finagle a better location for the washer and dryer.  However, that location has yet to be found– at least one that would suit me and be as little of interruption to my “slowly-coming-together-house”.  My dear husband occasionally helps out (transporting said cargo from floor to floor).  However, he is not always available and I’m rather impatient.  There have been other physical “challenges,” as well, ones I did not expect.  Shaving my legs is becoming increasingly difficult and we won’t even talk about the “nether” regions.  So, if any of you want to invite me over to your pool, please either give me plenty of notice (so, I can find a waxing salon) or forgive my “growth”.   Yes, I actually said that.

On to more PG topics… Beets’ room is beginning to come together.  Sorry, I still have no pictures.  But, I promise I will post when it is all done.  Jimmy painted the ceiling in there this weekend.  After some slight confusion over the color of the paint that actually went onto the ceiling, he finally got it completed.  It is a bit lighter than I had thought it would.  And by “light” I mean “white with a slight tint”.  I’m hoping the color will be much stronger when the walls are painted.  I didn’t want it to be super dark, but I was hoping for more definition.  We also have the molding guy lined up to install crown and picture railing in Beets’ and the guest room.  After that, we will HOPEFULLY be able to borrow the sander one last time and get the floors finished.  Then it is just about painting and installing fixtures, furniture, etc.  I can’t wait till we have a room put together.  It will make things seem more real.  And, give us a place to put all of this little “alien’s” new stuff.

This weekend will be the first of several baby showers that are scheduled.  It will be exciting to see my guests and open Beets’ first gifts!  I have also been so fortunate that so many people are willing to give me their slightly “tested” hand-me downs.  At first, I was all about buying the most safe, coolest items– but, now I’m realizing that it must be such a waste to buy such expensive stuff for such a short time.  If he is truly a bigger baby, he could outgrow things much quicker and that cost will go down the tubes.  Car seats can especially be a waste.  Naturally, they are necessary and provide “peace of mind” for the new parents.  However, I have been advised in several books and online articles to never buy a used car seat– at least one from someone you don’t know.  The issue is that once they are in an accident (even if it is a small one), their safety can be compromised.  On top of that, the baby’s typically outgrow them before they are a year old and then you have to upgrade to another $150 seat.  They do have seats that span from newborn to toddler, however, those are not encouraged because the infant doesn’t fill up the seat enough and can be injured more easily.  On top of that, you have nothing to transport them in (since this type of car seat stays in the car).  So, alas… you are forced to buy a new, expensive car seat… TWICE.  We are looking at an All-Terrain stroller that allows you to attach the infant carrier on top, so, I’m hoping to make things as easy as possible w/o spending more money.  I think babies probably rival that of the cost of high school graduates headed off to college; its a whole new ballgame and EVERYTHING costs money.

This weekend, we are planning on taking off to Nashville (after the baby shower).  Jimmy has a doctor’s appointment at Vanderbilt and we are going to try to turn it into a little get away.  We typically never have time to do much in Nashville when we are there, so, it will be fun to explore the city for once.  Once we get back, the weekends start to get really busy, so, I’m hoping to enjoy as much as possible.

So… on Friday, the baby is scheduled to be a hot-house cucumber and then cauliflower the next week.  Exciting transformations are taking place and in about 3.5 weeks, he will be 2.5 pounds- a full pound more than this week.  As he continues to grow by leaps and bounds… I am counting the days till I get to meet him for the first time!  102 more to go!!!

So we are now back to spherical fruit.  One source tells me the baby is the size of a large mango and another says papaya.  A spaghetti squash was the vegetable of choice last week.  I don’t know who makes up this stuff, but it is always interesting, that is for sure.  Though, I have to say that I don’t feel much larger.  There are times that I wake up in the morning and am seriously scared that the baby has disappeared.  I feel good… great even.  While that is a nice feeling, it is easy to forget that one is pregnant.  Luckily I have some movements to keep me from going insane.  We’ll get to those in just a little bit.

Today is the first day of my 23 week.  That means there is only 17 weeks left.  I love that with each week, the number of weeks that are left get smaller.  There are moments when I just can NOT wait till I get to hold this little guy.  Then, when I see other people with their (naughty) children, I look down at my belly and think “Oh-My-God!  What have we done?!”  I’m sure there will be those moments where I tell my son I am going to send him back where he came from, but I’m hoping they are very few and far between.  We’ve waited a LONG time to have him and I would not change it at all!!!

I also had my first “conscious” Braxton Hicks contraction.  I had just come back from a weekend visit to Lake Cumberland where I hadn’t felt him for nearly 3 days.  I was a bit nervous and scared, but tried to keep it to myself.  That evening, I had this horrible cramp followed by little vibrations low in the abdomen– which caused me to be even MORE freaked out.  A medical explanation of the event did not help (and I have my suspicions that it was written by an over-educated male w/ no common sense).  Luckily, I belong to a message board with lots of other pregnant ladies (all delivering around the same time as me) and some of them (most, actually) have other children.  One of them explained the exact symptoms to me and said that it was actually a good thing that I was having them (body getting ready to deliver).  As soon as that calmed my fears… the reality of being pregnant set in.  THIS BABY IS GOING TO COME OUT!  Yes, I know, it is common sense.  But, I think you get caught up in the little details of the moment that you don’t allow yourself to venture to the end of it all.  That feels so far away– and yet is encroaching more and more quickly.  The thought of the birth has made me begin to question the birth plan I originally set up.  I never thought I would want/consider a natural birth (still wondering if I want to).  However, I also heard that the drugs may make breastfeeding more difficult in the beginning (due to the fact biological processes and the baby have all been drugged).  But, overall, I’m still leaning more towards drugs versus sans-drugs.  We’ll see where this goes over time.

The movements come very sporadically.  There are times where I don’t feel him all day or even for several days.  That is due to the anterior placenta (placenta attached at the front).  So, I try not let that upset me when I don’t feel him in there kicking, boxing, or shuffling around.  However, I noticed this strange, yet regular sensation today.  I had read that babies can get hiccups in the womb.  I think that must have been what was happening.  It was just a little shake every 15 seconds or so for about 2 minutes.  I wish I could get over the hiccups that fast.  Maybe Beets knows to put his hands above his head or take little sips of fluid to calm them down.  He must know of some trick, that is for sure because I can keep them for a half hour to an hour!

We are hoping to work on the floors of Beets’ and the guest room this weekend, but that all depends on whether or not we can borrow the sander.  If so, that means we can “sort of” be on schedule with having the floors stained/ polyurethaned while we are out of town (and I won’t have to be around the fumes).  Then, the rest can happen as it comes.  That is the biggest thing I’ve been trying to get done.  We’ll see what happens.  I’m a bit skeptical and won’t be happy if I have to move out.

I also have made major headway on the design/decor of Beets’ room.  I bought one bedding set/ collection at JC Penney but then decided the color was too limiting (it was mainly all one color–the same color I wanted to paint the walls) and so, it didn’t allow me to really pull much of anything else into it.  The vintage hot air balloon mobile is multi-colored and so, it helped to have other colors to harmonize with it.  I finally found this one at Babies R US.  I’m sure I paid more than I should have.  But, I got tired of looking and just wanted to be done with it.  Plus, I couldn’t find anywhere else online that was any cheaper.  It has grasshoppers on it (inside the bumper and on the bedskirt)– not exactly what I was looking for.  I don’t have anything against grasshoppers, per se, they are actually kind of cute.  But, grasshoppers and hot air balloons are usually at two different elevations, so, they don’t really jive that well.  But, I think they are minimal to the overall look.  And, I didn’t have to sew everything myself which is a huge weight off my shoulders.

Well, that is it for this week.  I hope to have some updated photos put up soon.  I can’t believe I’ll be 6 months preggo next week!  Yah!

Ok… what’s up with the banana?  There are some weird transitions going on here!  Up until now the baby has been compared to spherical fruit (i.e. lime, lemon, avocado, naval orange, heirloom tomato, small cantaloupe, etc.).  Now he is compared to a banana?!  Did he lose all his fat and decide to stretch out in a hammock?  Confusing, but I guess we’ll go with it even though I don’t see how this is progressing in the positive direction.

So, I know it has been awhile since I last wrote.  I have been a bad, bad mommy!  But, things have been progressing well and there hasn’t been a whole lot to write about (except a few exciting things that I will get to later).  I’ve also been working on the house.  Mom and I finished taking down the last few scraps of wallpaper.  I felt it was such a monumental moment that someone should have been playing “Taps” or at least giving us a drum roll.  Although, I will say there is about 3 feet of wallpaper (probably less) that needs to be removed in the downstairs bathroom.  But, that shouldn’t take too long.  The challenge with it is getting a ladder in there since there is practically no floor space for it– other than the tub (which should come with a warning label attached- do not place ladder in bathtub due to unevenness).  I guess I’ll have to get a brave, brave man to step up and take on the challenge (uh-hem… Jimmy).  So… the renovations are marching on.  The electricians have promised to be finished by tomorrow (we’ll see).  And, the dry wall people (for the ceilings) will be here on Monday!  Yah!  Then it is on to patching the plaster, and refinishing the floors – which we will do ourselves.  Things are moving on!  I’ll try to post some pictures with this post.  Things are a mess– but that will make it even better to see finished!

So… the name game has come to a near completion.  I know that sounds like teasing since we still aren’t giving away the name just yet.  But, I can say that the initials has made me come up with a nickname.  The nickname is still wearing on Jimmy– not sure he likes it, but there are a couple of different options (and one of those might be appropriate for a 15 year old boy depending on his interests).  I call him “Beets” from time to time.  Jimmy prefers to call him his official name– but for you, my fine audience, you’ll have to settle for Beets.  The other option is “Beats”– We could even do “DJ Beats”.  Who knows, maybe he’ll like to spin turn tables?!  In any case, you should find out his name in about 133 days!  That still sounds like a long time… but, I was thinking yesterday about the ending of June and how quickly it has come and gone.  That kind of freaked me out, since the end of October is 4 months away.  As excited as I am for the coming a new human (feels like an alien is coming to my house considering I’m having to think of little things I hadn’t considered when we bought this death trap of a house), I’m also freaking out about getting everything ready and seriously thinking of “how” I will be as a mom.  A mom with little sleep– and a milk pump controlled and regulated for a little person’s disposal.  Disposal.  Let’s ponder that for a minute.  What goes in… must come out.  No matter how old I am, I will be operated by someone 1/32 of my age (yes.. I’ll be 32 by then– that’s scary, too)-  seniority does not apply in this situation.  In fact, the younger you are, the more clout you have in getting your needs met PRONTO!!

So, Beets has begun letting me know that he is swimming around in there.  It is an odd feeling– one that I’m still trying to distinguish from passing gas.  So, there are times that I get excited, only for that excitement to “pass” quickly.  Yeah, TMI, I know.  But, it is the truth.  But, yesterday, I could pin point the feeling and it felt like Beets was doing somersaults.  At this point, his “home” is still relatively large compared to his little body but, that won’t last long and my days of enjoying the pregnancy are certainly numbered!  I’m set to begin my third trimester just as the heat of summer steps up a notch– the second week of August.  I have about 7 weeks left (that means, Dena, you’ll be there in a week!  Yikes!).  I have to admit, I was very concerned he had some sort of muscle deficiency.  I thought he just didn’t have the ability to kick– especially since he didn’t want to move when we did the last ultrasound.  But, I think he is fine and was just a little too small (comparatively) to let me know he was doing OK.  NOTE: As much as I have looked forward to this “kicking” and notification, I, as pregnant woman, reserve the right to complain about it later!  These kicks will pack more “punch” as he grows and I know they will be a bit more painful.  Just so you are aware…

Beets’ wardrobe is beginning to form, as well.  My cousin, Lisette gave me some hand me downs from her son.  He, Landon, will be a year old in August, so we have at least a year of clothing moving in our direction!  Funny, Lisette used to give me hand me downs when we were little (until I grew bigger than her as a teenager).  I loved her clothes, but always wanted to be the first to wear them… But, now, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that she has clothes that she is willing to hand down- again.  We have also bought a few things.  It is difficult to know what to get when (will he be big enough/small enough to wear this in warm or cool weather?).  But, I’m having fun with it all.  I figure if there are things that are short sleeve, I can find a sweater or a blanket to wrap him in.  I came across a shirt and pair of shorts that look just like some Jimmy has.  I can’t wait for him to be big enough to wear them with his dad.  He will probably able to wear it right around Father’s Day next year- which is perfect since I gave it to Jimmy for father’s day this year (along with a cool book on preparing for the baby called, “Mack Daddy”).  I also found this onsie for him to wear in honor of his daddy.  I don’t think there is anything more appropriate (other than spelling out “my dad is cool” in binary code).

Well… that is all for now.  We go back to get another ultrasound next Thursday, July 1.  I’m planning on drinking some spicy tomato juice before I go– hopefully that will get him moving and make it easier to see him completely.  We appreciate all your prayers and support and look forward to another week!

So, the baby is apparently the size of an onion this week.  Today I am 17 weeks, 6 days.  Tomorrow I will be officially 18 weeks (and the baby will be size of a sweet potato).  However, after yesterday’s ultrasound, it is possible I am further along than I thought- possibly a week further along.  In addition to finding out the gender of the baby, they also did a series of measurements of just about everything.  Apparently, he is still a little small to get a good look at certain features.  He was being rather stubborn in that he was determined to stay wrapped up in a little ball and, so, they couldn’t get a good look at his facial features or his heart (but heart beat was strong).  So, we will go back in about 4 weeks to get another ultrasound.  I’ll be about 22 weeks then and hopefully he’ll be more cooperative.  It seems that he is taking after his father already!

I have begun to realize that this worrying “phase” is not really a “phase”… it NEVER goes away.  You think (at the time), if I can just make it through this next “hoop”, I’ll feel better and everything will be fine… but, there is ALWAYS something.  I always hold my breath until we can hear the heart beat.  When I heard it yesterday, I let out a sigh of relief, but then tensed up again as the specialist did the measurements.  Part of the reason may have been she was pushing so hard on my abdomen.  You don’t think of ultrasounds being painful, but, she had some muscles and was determined to get a good look.  But, I think the real reason for the tension is you never stop worrying that everything will be fine.  Jimmy tells me to stop worrying (yeah, that’ll work)… but, I think some people forget that you, as the mother, feel completely and solely responsible for the safety of your baby– even if you can’t control everything.  I always thought my mother and grandmother and great aunt worried way too much.  In fact, I remember buying my grandmother and great aunt worry stones as a child (I’m SURE they appreciated the gesture).  As a child, I was determined that I would not be so up tight– but, I think I’m 10 times worse!  I’d like to believe it gets better, but friends have told me that the worry never leaves you– no matter how old they get.  Yup, I’m pretty sure I’ll be a basket case for the rest of my life.

I thought I would use the rest of this blog to write a little letter to my baby boy.  I wish I could tell you it won’t be “sappy”… but it probably will.  So, if you are at all hormonal or get sick to your stomach when faced with emotion… you might want to stop reading now.

Dear Baby Boy,

I’m sorry to be calling you such a generic name at this point, but, your daddy and I are still trying out several names for you.  We want to make sure it is distinct and special and fits who you are!  But, I promise to think of a good nickname for you and use that in future.  I will do my best to make it something that isn’t embarrassing to you when you’re 15, just in case it sticks!

Yesterday was a very amazing day for both me and your daddy.  Your daddy literally exclaimed as he found out he was having a boy!  Of course, I’m sure he would be excited if you were a girl… but, he has already thought of lots of fun “boy” things to do with you when you arrive.  I’m sure you’ll watch lots of sports– so, I hope you like football (if not, mommy will teach you how to play chess- she ALWAYS kicks daddy’s butt).

Of course, I was excited, too!  I literally could not wipe the smile off my face all day long.  It is so nice to know who has taken up residency in my belly and begin to identify with you.  I wonder what you will look like and which parts of your daddy and me will be in you.  Since both us are fair skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes… we’re fairly certain you’ll have those traits, too.  I’m sorry to say, you won’t tan well and you’ll be wearing 30 SPF for the rest of your life.  Apparently it is from our Scotch-Irish background– not much we can do about that.  Your daddy’s hair was WHITE when he was little– I wonder if you’ll have his hair.  I first met your daddy when he was in pre-school and I remember his hair vividly.  I would like to let your hair grow and be cut just like his– but, he may not let me.  But, know this… mommy RULES!

I had to run out and buy you an outfit yesterday.  I actually bought you two.  One says: “Mommy’s little monster” and is chocolate brown with green trim.  The other one is green with white striped sleeves (do you see a trend with green?).  It has a little baby chick on one side.  Daddy thought it was a little girlie– but I’m sure you won’t mind right now.  It also has a matching hat.  I love hats– I hope you do, too.  I also hope your head isn’t as big your Gram seems to think it will be.  She said the Shaw’s all have big heads.  While I could see that as a “figure of speech”, I do think she means that quite literally.  Aside from finding hats that fit– I still have to get you out of the womb.  Please cut me break!  I’d like for you to be very smart and have a big brain– but, let’s not go overboard.

Well, that is all for now little boy.  Mommy and Daddy can’t wait to meet you.  We hope you like having your birthday around Halloween.  One of our friends (Meredith Lovell Mazucca) has a birthday around Halloween.  She said she loved it when she was a kid.  We hope you do, too!  We promise to make it as awesome as possible.  I can’t wait to get pictures of you and your friends all dressed up!  We’ll have so much fun!

Only 22 more weeks to go!  We can’t wait to meet you.  Its been a long time that we have been waiting to have you.  I’m not sure I’ll be able to put you down!  We love you very much!

Love you forever,

Mommy and Daddy

So… the baby was a lime, a lemon and now a naval orange.  It seems that we have gone on a citrus frenzy!  I have noticed that I have gained weight and in certain things I do look pregnant.  But, in others (such as regular pants/shorts)… I just look plain old fat.  While I’m tired of looking fat and want desperately to look like I have a bump, I know at some point I will grow tired of being “huge”.  So… I guess I should enjoy each stage as it comes and hold on to the little things that work for me right now.  We’ve been taking belly pictures… but I’ve been too self-conscious to put any of them up on here.  We haven’t take a photo this week… so, we’ll see how that one looks.

I go back to the doctor on the 20th of this Month (Thursday this week).  I will be glad to check back in and make sure everything looks/sounds good.  It seems like you live for those doctor appointments and agonize about everything in between.  The appointments are only 4 weeks apart, but your mind can do mean tricks on you during the time in between.  The ultra sound is scheduled for June 2– Jimmy will be with me for that one.  I can’t wait… although, I kind of wonder if I should wait to find out what the gender will be.  But, I rationalize, I will be surprised no matter when I find out.  And, since the name search has stalled temporarily, it might help kick start us back on-track.  I know Jimmy is looking forward to a little boy… and he has lots of boy names picked out… However, if we have a girl… there aren’t as many options to choose from yet– at least not options that “daddy” likes.  He’s very picky.  Whatever the name will be, we are hoping to wait until the baby is born to let everyone know.  I know, I know… “booooo!”  It is definitely not the popular route.  But, from previous experience (and listening to friends’ experiences),  I don’t want to hear “oh… you’re naming him/her that…. seriously???!”  We’ve certainly waited a long time to have a baby and the name choice is our decision… so, I don’t want any bad vibes beforehand!   We promise to think hard– and not play games with the poor dear (Rick-Shaw and George Bernard have all come up… but are our go to names when we get pressured about giving out the name!).

So… the “morning” (aka “all day”) sickness has subsided– mostly, but still rears its ugly head from time to time.  But, overall, my energy level is back up (shhhh… don’t tell Jimmy).  I’ve been trying to put it to good use.  My mom has been a major help and I’m so glad we live close enough to prepare for the baby together!  She’s been great with helping me move stuff out of the rooms and *trying* to find new locations for them.  I’m hoping to start ripping up some wallpaper this week.  I’ve been resisting the urge to go in there like a crazy woman and just start ripping in random locations.  But, now that the scaffold is up and put together, I know I will be more tempted to “strip” it all down!!!  Then, we have to clean the walls, patch the walls, prime the walls, dry-wall the ceiling, patch/sand the ceiling, prime the ceiling then PAINT.  Oh and don’t forget refinish the floors (sand, fill, stain, and seal).  Whew… I’m worn out and overcome from the smell just thinking about it all!  I might have to move out for a few days as that goes on.  Apparently huffing paint and polyurethane fumes is not good for baby (unless he/she wants a life of huffing glue later on down the road– but hopefully not).  I’m hoping to find some VOC-free paint, so that might not be as bad.

Well… I guess that’s all…. I’ll post pics of the baby’s room (pre-finished) soon!  Toodles!

Yes… I know… GROSS!  But, if you were in my shoes, you’d understand!  The last week hasn’t been so great– it has actually felt like the nausea took a kick into high gear.  I literally felt like someone hooked me up to a Molasses IV pump and that chains were placed around my legs and arms.  It took a lot of effort to even move.  However, today, I feel much better.  I’m hoping things are starting to look up!  The doctor said that I might not have the symptoms completely disappear until week 16.  I originally thought week 12 was the “final” week– then, I heard it was week 14… now she says week 16.  If I go back and she says week 18… well… let’s not go there.

Tomorrow will be my entry into week 13.  I hope it is a lucky number.  Even though I have seen the little “peanut” inside of me, I still wonder sometimes if it is really there.  I look at myself in the mirror and I think I just look fat.  It is still difficult- if not impossible to see a baby bump.  The only sign I have is that I have moved into a larger size of clothing (not a fun thing– even if I’m pregnant).  I don’t think I’ll mind wearing maternity clothes, but I don’t want to look fat for no reason.  With the bloating subsiding (some), my belly actually looks smaller– which should be a good thing, but also worries me.  I worry that the baby isn’t growing or that something else is wrong (I actually wonder if it could have fallen out without me knowing– yeah, crazy, I know!).

In the meantime of my worrying, I’m finishing up my last few weeks at UK; this is the last official week with students.  Next week is finals, but I probably won’t see most of them since they will be finished with my major class tomorrow night.  My studio is presenting their final project in my hometown, Carlisle tomorrow afternoon/evening.  They have been working on a development project where they took four different buildings and developed businesses/designs for each of the spaces.  I am very proud of them.  It will be difficult to say goodbye, but, hopefully, I’m on to greener pastures!

This week I have worked on moving books out of the baby’s room and down into our office.  I still have some paperbacks to put somewhere and literally a whole other library of books to move from my campus office to the house.  I think I’ll have to put most of them downstairs in the basement.  I just hope it isn’t too humid to cause damage.  Aside from the books, we still have a sewing machine, Arts and Crafts reclining chair and a few other items to find new homes for.  After that, I will be ripping down the wallpaper like a mad woman.  That is the one thing I know I can do.  Of course… after that…. I’ll have to rely on help (cleaning walls, repairing, priming, painting, etc.).  We’ll also have to update the electricity since the room only has one outlet.  I can’t wait to get started– much less to have a sleeping baby (I stress “sleeping”) in there soon!

Well… that’s it for this week.  I go back to the doctor on May 20 and get another ultrasound on June 2 to find out the gender of the baby.  I thought for sure in the beginning that I was having a girl…. but, now I don’t know.  Jimmy has finally gotten in to researching names.  He’s very scientific about the process and has been looking at charts/graphs/economic status and other “important” data.  While I think some of it is rather silly, I’m glad he is finally enjoying the process!

Until week 14….

There is a baby in Megan’s belly and we have proof! These pictures are from our first ultrasound. The baby is about 5.2 cm long, has a big head, arms and legs. The heartbeat was approximately 160 bpm. The doctor said everything was great and our little “peanut” is developing nicely.

Okay… so, I thought I was going to be finished with this first trimester crud in just about another week or so, but there seems to be some disagreement with that in the books and online articles I have been reading.  It looks like I might have another few weeks (till I reach 14).  In any case, I’ve realized that I should be at least 25% through with the pregnancy– which seems odd.  While it has felt like a looooong time since I first found out– I also haven’t seen or accepted myself truly as being pregnant yet.  Yes, weird, I know.  I go through all of the pregnancy signs (nausea- check; sore breasts- check; hormonal moodiness- double check; exhaustion- check)– still, I think it is truly difficult to comprehend I am currently spawning another human being inside my body.  It makes me think of the movie Alien (which simultaneously makes me feel like vomiting).   However, there are also days where I feel perfectly normal- great, even.  Sometimes I’ll go for days at a time and have to remind myself that I am pregnant because I have no symptoms (which can be scary and I find myself almost yearning for some small sign that everything is still OK– which means I want to feel some sort of sickness).  I feel like I’m playing a perpetual game of Mortal Combat; when my energy meter is high, I feel like I can kick some major butt.  However, some days I feel like I’ve gotten my butt kicked by the Hormonal boogie-woman.  Whether it is morning noon, evening or night– she will rear her ugly face– my response is typically to belch into it and do something even more disgusting (don’t worry, I won’t tell you about it).

Well, enough of that; let’s move on to some happier thoughts.  I have a doctor’s appointment this week and I’m hoping that I’ll get an ultra sound (US).  Though, I’m not sure that I will get one.  I’ve waited long enough to have one, but, we’ll have to see.  When the doctor’s office called to remind me of my appointment, they left a message saying it was my first pre-natal appointment and that I wouldn’t see a doctor.  This is not correct– I’ve already had an appointment and I was told I WOULD see a doctor this time, that’s why I had to wait so long to go back.  If this doesn’t happen– Lord help them.  I don’t think I’ll be able to control my hormonal urges not to explode.  I need– and therefore MUST– see a doctor and get a heartbeat on this child inside of me.  I’ve been patient long enough.  Some people who aren’t even as far a long as me have had two or more US by now– I know this can happen people, don’t make me wait any longer.  I’m realizing that a pregnant woman can be very forceful– whether that is emotionally forceful or PHYSICALLY forceful depends on YOU!  Don’t make it harder on yourself; do the right thing!

So… other news…. we finally received the baby crib.  Although, I don’t know why I say “finally” its not like I need it and/or am ready for it.  Jimmy and I could barely get it into the house once it was delivered.  The thing weighs about 100 pounds– w/o a mattress.  Luckily, my brother, Jason, showed up a few days later and he and Jimmy were able to carry it to the basement until it can be un-boxed and put into the nursery.  We also bought a vintage hot air balloon mobile for the bed.  My mother scolded me and told me I needed to leave things for people to buy us– but, I’m kind of a control freak when it comes to the design/furnishings of the house.  I can see the total vision and it is difficult to let go of that.  Still, I’m hoping as I get more put together, people will understand the direction we are going in and so, it won’t be so difficult to explain.   To me, there is a clear difference in modern hot air balloons and vintage hot air balloons… the vintage ones are much more interesting in form and color and material.  I suppose I can get a little to caught up in the details– but, that is kind of how my brain is wired and that’s what makes me successful at my job.

I’m including a picture of our “baby lime” this week.  As we were buying the lime at the grocery store today, I told Jimmy I couldn’t believe that our baby was that size yet– and I have no clue it is really in “there.”  I can’t wait till I get confirmation by the movements and kicks– I will feel better that everything is OK when that happens.  But, I guess that’s what faith is all about– I just prefer to see/feel it!

Until next week….